A Hidden Treasure

We were so fortunate to find Maria's two day a week charter school.  At 10 years old, they put her in a second grade class no problem.  Her teachers, her principal; great.  Plus, we had so much extra time with her at home to work on life skills; getting dressed, brushing her hair, teeth.  We worked on attachment and nurtured her as she grew in family.   She could still take a nap a few hours a day as her little body and life were in recoup, perfect.

As the months passed, our goals for her changed.  Her English, her abilities in school, they were all flourishing.  She was able to get herself ready in the morning and eat breakfast on her own in a good amount of time, so we started asking about friends.  No friends at school, her best friend was her teacher.

Sometimes, after school, we would walk down to the local public school to play on the equipment.  We were approached by the sweetest little kids wanting to play with us too.  I saw a girl playing all by herself and after asking her name, I asked Maria to ask her to swing.  Maria shook her head no, as she clung to me, eyes on the ground.  "Rosio, do you want to play on the swings with Maria?"  "Yes," she said, and they ran off together, Maria shooting me a shy, yet hesitantly excited look over her shoulder.

The little girls would ask me a bunch of questions about Maria as they played, "She doesn't speak English, we didn't either when we started school, where is she from?" and when we would leave to go home, they would beg us to stay.  "Our parents don't come till dark," they told us.

IN LOVE with the little boys, the feeling is mutual

Andrew and I started tossing around the idea of having her go to the public school for the last few months of the year, but the biggest problem was that she would start as a fifth grader, where her age is, then go to middle school next year.  Second grade to middle school was a big leap, we knew she wouldn't be ready.  They told us, "We could test her, and move her after she starts in a fifth grade class...."  We said no, that seemed so cruel and unnecessary.

We sought out our advocate to see how they could help, and Andrew told me he was feeling pretty discouraged about the whole thing, it seemed like it just couldn't happen.  We prayed, but told ourselves it was ok, we liked her charter school, but as summer came, and she still didn't have friends, we were feeling sad.  Then one day, when I asked her which school she had more friends at, and she said the public school, even though we had only been there a handful of times, we knew we wanted to make the change, but our hands were tied, and there was nothing more we could do after calling many, many people.


Fast forward to the weekend of service, when we spent all morning cleaning up this precious school with 100 other people from our church.  We went home after lunch so the kids could nap, Andrew stayed and served, and worked some more.  Of course, because that's just Andrew, wanting to use his efforts to help and serve, always.   We came back after they woke, and played on the play ground while I snapped this pic.

"Did you see the guy helping me lay the grass seed?" Andrew asked later.

"Oh, yeah," I said, "Was he from North Coast too?"

"No, that was the principal, I worked with him all afternoon."

"Oh cool," I said.

"Yeah, he set up a meeting with me this week to talk about Maria."

"Oh yeah?" I said, thinking that was weird.  I had already given up on the idea of that school weeks ago.

"Yeah, he said he could help us get her into whichever grade we wanted, whichever we think is best, he's going to meet with the district about it..."

"Wait--what??"

Fast forward to her taking the placement test that week, and starting, in fourth grade the following day.

Each morning after breakfast, we walk as a family through the early morning air, eating wild loquat along the way to school, I get to use my Spanish with all the little mommies, we've set up play dates, and I even got to meet Rosio's mamita.

"Mom, they are all learning English too, just like me."  In a week, she's learned a dance that she performed at the international fair over the weekend, she and I have so much to talk about when she gets home, her teacher is working with her each day, she has lots of friends who wave and welcome her, even when she's shy, especially Paula.  "Mama, she was born in Mexico, and lives here now, she so nice to me."

Dancing at the festival with her class...of peers, her friends

An awesome guy from our church has his kids there, and we see him almost every day, bringing doughnuts, helping with the jog-a-thon, on PTA, and he and Andrew exchanged numbers so Andrew can join the PTA too.  He's stoked.

Andrew playing tag with about 15 kids at back to school night, they always rope him into their games ;)

Well....we are stoked.  This is her second week of the school, she is loving it.  Loving it.  We have met the nicest people, all who live near us.  Maria, well, all of us are so happy.  Oh God, you are so good.

Freaking good thing we decided to serve God that day, and not do our own thing...

' God’s kingdom is like a treasure hidden in a field for years and then accidentally found by a trespasser. The finder is ecstatic—what a find!—and proceeds to sell everything he owns to raise money and buy that field.'  

Matt 13:44

It always seems what we need most is hidden, hidden in what God is already asking us to do, serve others.  And when we do, he's like, don't you worry about it, I got all that stuff you think is big right here for you...

If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.   Matt/6:33

Happy Birthday to My Best Friend

To the woman I love. I wish that words could capture how much I cherish you. You are the most beautiful mother and wife and I am so thankful to get to spend every day by your side.  You inspire me to be a better husband, a better father, a better man.  This past year has been bursting full of new adventures and I've loved being there by your side as we go. You are so full of love and light, and I have seen you grow into such an amazing woman over the last ten years.  You still bring a smile to my face when you walk in a room just like you always have.  I hope that when you read this that you know how loved you are and that you are already having a wonderful birthday.  Thanks for teaching me through your examples and encouraging me at every opportunity available.  It's you that I love and I know 3 other little whipper snappers that feel the same way!  Happy Birthday Amy!

Your Admirer and Husband,

Andrew

The Coop Is Done, and Chickens in Evening Wear

With a palate as a base, and some old fence posts Bob picked up, we built the coop.  I was kind of very impressed with Andrew, the farmer man.

Although the kids were very convinced it was their own personal play house.

Andrew crafted a specialty nesting box so we can gather the eggs, but in the meantime, it makes a pretty great secret lookout.

The kids work together to make sure it's nice and cozy for the six chicken. I love having a project that we can work on as a family, they feel such ownership for their chickens.  Well, honestly, they are kind of the easiest pet ever, which makes it even better for our crew. 

Our chickens are so goofy, and love rolling in the dirt, getting it all mixed up in their feathers, they are kind of awesome.

"Mawia, help me down?"

"Come here, buddy."

At the end of the day, Bob looks at the kids and says, "Let's go!" and they race as fast as they can to his truck.

"Bye, mama," they tell me.

"See ya," I say.

They hop in the back, where they go loco and get to do a few laps in the drive way, while Bob plays music.

"Mama, I go to Bob's house," they tell me matter-of-factly.  "We go see Bonnie."

Recently, we've been having some shy little guests at evening picnics.  Such little cuties.

Maria loves the chickens so much, but mostly Ladybug.  She is a nurturer by nature, which means Ladybug is one of the most pampered and cared for chickens you could imagine.

She gets the royal treatment, and is turning into the best chicken you could imagine.

Literally, eyes closed, asleep, wrapped up in Maria's doll bed.  "Shhhhh, mama, she sleeping.  Ladybug nap time."    "Yes, I see."

"Eeeeeee-whyyyyy-sha!!!  Let's be best friend-brothers!!!!!" -Finley

 "No," -Elijah

And finally....here it is...

"I look good and I know it" -Ladybug

This is a chicken.  Wearing a dress.   Ladybug is fancy, and she knows it.

I love that all my kids want to help take care of our chickens together, a special endeavor.

Still no eggs, and we may have a secret rooster with a baby red mohawk, and since we want to stay friends with our neighbors, he may have to go, but in any case, we love these little girlies.  They have a peaceful vibe about them as they peck through the yard, eating the bugs, flowing through the plants and trees.

And when it's time to round them back up at the end of the day, I literally need Maria's help as they jump right out of my catch, "Maria!"

"It's ok, I got em!" as she scoops up 3 at a time and tosses them gently into the coop.

What a pro.

Happy Mother's Day

Felt so loved today thanks to all my little cuties. It was not my first Mother's Day, but it was the first Mother's Day for two of my little ones.  Maria's note read, "Thank you for taking care of me."  And she told me again, so I knew, "Thank you for taking care of me, mama."

"A child born to another woman calls me mommy.  The magnitude of that tragedy & the depth of that privilege are not lost on me."
-Jody Landers

 

Happy Mother's Day to all your wonderful mamas, you are important, unique and have a most sacred, needed, life changing job.  If only there were more to go around.

xoxo

"You belong"

There was one thing Maria was more afraid of than math when she first got home; swimming.

So for her birthday, she received a 4 week swimming class from grandma and grandpa, and after just a couple lessons, she is a fish.  She floats on her back, extends her arms, peaceful and happy.  "Mama!  Mama, look at me!"

"Go, girl!"

We decided to sign Finley up to join the class as well, since we were already going....and that first day you could hear his screams from the parking lot, terrified.

Maria swam up to him, as he clutched the cement sides with his little fingers.

"Finley," she said softly, meeting his eyes, "is ok...you no crying, Maria right here for you.  You jus look at me, and it be ok?  You no crying...is ok."

She handed him a chipped, plastic ronald mcdonald toy, "Maria right here Finley, you no be afraid..."

And by day three,

"One, two THREE!" as they jumped to their teacher, waiting in the pool for them, side by side, their faces etched in smiles and giggles.  Brave little swimmers, splashing through the water together.

The cheerleaders

-Side note-, to say that I am impressed that Elijah can actually...sit on our laps for 30 minutes is new territory for us.  Actually, we are entering another new season with our children, a season of enjoying what came from heckuvah hard work.

***

Once, at a teacher staff meeting, a pastor, the dad of the guys in Switchfoot came and spoke.  One thing he mentioned was how physical boys are, and how they feel loved and cared for when they can get physical and he would spend a good two hours, each day after work wrestling his boys...  That really stood out to me, because two hours... and he's a busy guy.

Sometimes, our boys get that look in their eyes, that crazy look, and we know it's time.  We scatter the pillows, and chuck them back and forth to each other.  It's their happy place.

See that crazy look in E's eye? So ready ;)

I think it helps prevent some major behavior problems, plus, it's fun.   After a bit, the kids quiet down, and get their sweaty little selves up close to us for some cuddling.

Or dancing.

JOY!

To see Elijah enjoy life, to be genuinely happy, is just... incomparable.

Brother high five

A boy who used to scream in torture when he would be cuddled, has become new, we never stopped or gave up on him, his self imposed barriers broken.

To extend your arms passed what others say is 'yours' to bring in those who aren't anyone's, the message being, "You belong" where before they didn't, to anyone.

'You belong, to us,' and 'you have value,' is our message to our children, to reach and keep reaching for them, even when their little hearts don't know how to respond, a new message to them.  As humans we are naturally geared to learn from rejection, to gauge it and leave quickly when appropriate, which is why we can't gain our strength in reaching our arms wider, in drawing them in closer from our humanness.  We didn't adopt altruistically because we are strong humans, we can't, in fact, we will be the first to say, we are weak.  Of which we are often reminded; our hearts smart when they don't want us, we quickly caution our hearts from moving further down the road rejection leads, and with humility--learned humility, when we wish we could be champions, know that we can't do it on our own.  We gain strength from the example of our God who, despite rejection, ridicule, reaches, loves, cherishes, despite.

And that is how we can.
When his little tears flow down both of our cheeks, those moments, we choose to whisper, "You belong.  You belong to us.  You are loved."

Be devoted to one another in love.  Honor one another above yourself.  romans 12.10

   

^{And after a small time, little bodies relax, his scent turns to sweet baby smells in my nose, and his body, his heart knows, he snuggles deeper, the barriers he put up, broken with persistent, unoffended parents, barriers which have always worked in his past, barriers to protect his own broken heart, in his time without a family.}  

 So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment.
Never be without it. col.3

We're ok with second place, behind everyone else without a bunch of kids who need extra help.  In fact, we're pretty cozy here, and I would even venture to say, we much prefer it, deep down in our souls.

***

Adoption and Orphan care...

“I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I'm more afraid of succeeding at things that don't matter.”  Love Does

 It's a tough job...

OMG his face!

 But someone's gotta do it...

Jonny Mananas

This is him wanting to have a serious conversation with Putin.  He wants to set him straight on a few things...

***

Last weekend we spent Saturday morning cleaning up an elementary school with our friends.  When we arrived, 200 people from our church were already working. 

Honestly, it seemed like the worst idea ever to do it again this year.  I was thinking we wouldn't last, how would we get anything done, be of any service with our three kids, especailly the smaller two who need to be constantly watched.  Most of me wanted to just say no, but we said yes, a recent habit.  Yes to helping others, yes to service, when you feel like you can't. 

And each and every time, that darn yes, God meets us right there, and in our feeble attempts to serve and help, he does abundantly more than us.

Best Day Ever.

Oh my gosh, God is good, while we spent hours planting, digging, weeding cleaning, my heart was filled with pride for my children, the kind of thing everyone longs to feel.  I was so proud of them working so hard, shoulder to shoulder, a team.

"I'm done," they said at first, "We don't say 'I'm done,' we keep working until we are all done," I gently reminded, happy for the opportunity for my children to learn perseverance. 

"I dig these hole for you, Finley, put the white flowers."

"Ok, Maria" as he carefully pulled the flowers out of their cups.

Um...were my kids just working together to plant flowers at a school...yes.  I almost interrupted them just to squeeze them.

What is happening??  More than I could imagine.

We weeded, hundreds of plants were planted, everything was painted, new lunch tables were built, flower and garden boxes, new tile in all the bathrooms, just to name a few.

"Good job, buddy!"  Check out those work gloves, they mean business.

Garden Boxes

New lunch tables

This used to be crazy weed area

Maria had the most beautiful, sweet, hardworking attitude.  She is such a good example to her brothers, and to us as her parents of what we should expect of her two siblings.  Blessing.  She takes great delight in helping others, in working hard.

It's hard for us not to see the blessings when we serve God, it's inescapable, our family was so touched and changed, but the school, to be honest is unrecognizable.  The kids and I walk by this school every week on the way to the library, it will be so cool to point of to my kids all they did, and how much of a difference it made, that they can SEE each time.  It's funny, each time we go, Andrew and I always comment how we'd love to buy them a new playset, and grow plants along the chainlink fence...and guess what job they gave me, growing vines in the fence, while my friends fixed and painted the playset.  

 Does God pour blessings on you when you choose to serve him, I believe so.  But I want you to notice this picture right now first, I didn't know what it meant until later.  TBC...

Saw this on my run the next morning

Weekend of Service 2013: The Church Has Left The Building from North Coast Church on Vimeo.

And it made me realize how capable my children are, and how much fun hard work can be.  They have been doing more work at home, and they ask for it.  Today, they told me they didn't know what to play, so I told them they had to move a huge pile of bricks with me.

"YIPPEE!" said Maria.  Finley got one time-out as he was remembering what hard work was, and as soon as we finished, they ran off together, playing side by side, without saying they didn't know what to play, as if fun was reinvented.
Hard work, does a kid good I now know.



***

Who wants to guess what we've been building? :)

***

On Sunday, Maria and I had a girl date with some friends.  We stopped at Starbucks first. 

Thank you Ally and Laney for the awesome girl day!

As she painted, she told me a funny story about Finley, and I laughed.  Then I told her a funny story about the boys from when she was at school, it was fun to get to chat for so long without being interrupted.  Everything I shared with her she loved, because it was her life as well, which is when it dawned on me, something that I think she's known the whole time, but I guess I have been busy, caring for, and keeping everyone in order that I just didn't even realize...that she is becoming my sweet little friend, one of my very best friends.

***

 Have a wonderful weekend, and we want to wish a very special happy Mother's Day to our friends who have their children stuck behind red tape in Russia.  You are incredible mothers, your children's lives are forever changed because of you, because they were chosen by you.  That child, in a sea of others will forever be changed, because they not only have your love, but they have your prayers, and the prayers of so many who now know about them because of your sacrificial love to them as their mothers. We love you, we love your children, forever.